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Kyun Vivaah aur Parivaar—Har Jagah Maaine Rakhti Hai
April 2015


Kyun Vivaah aur Parivaar—Har Jagah Maaine Rakhti Hai

Parivaar jiwan ka kendra hai aur anant khushiyaali ki chaabi hai.

Pichle Nawambar, mera saobhaagye tha—Pradhaan Henry B. Eyring aur Bishop Gérald Caussé ke saath—Rome, Italy ke Vatican mein vivaah aur parivaar par ek bhaashan mein amantrith hona. Wahan 14 vibhinn dharam ke dhaarmik pratinidhi the aur saat mein se cheh mahadwipon se aaye the, sabhi ko apne vishwaas ko batlaane ke liye bulaya gaya tha aaj ke duniya ke parivaar mein kya ho raha hai par.

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President Henry B. Eyring, Bishop Gerald Causse and Elder Perry in Rome

Pope Francis ne sabha ka pehla bhaag is ghoshna se shuru kiya: “Hum aaj ek asthaayi saanskriti mein jeete hai, jahan zyaada se zyaada log vivaah ko tyaag rahe hai ek saarvajanik pratibadhta ki tarah. Kaayde aur naetikta mein yeh badlaao ko aksar aazaadi kehte hai, magar vaastav mein isse kayi maanav jaati ko aatmik aur saamaagri ki tabahi hi mili hai, khaaskar gareeb aur sabse kamzor par. … Wohi is sankat se zyaada kasht paate hai.” 1

Ubhadti peedhi ko lekar, usne kaha ki yeh zaroori hai ki woh “apne aap ko yeh na samjhaaye ki kuch cheezein [jaise vivaah] kuch samay ka hona chahiye, par kraantikaari bane sachcha aur anant prem ko dhoondhne ki saahas rakhkar, aur aam baat ka virodh karein”; aysa hona chahiye. 2

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Synod hall with the faith leaders on the marriage summit

Yeh bhashan dhaarmik netaaon ke saath teen dinon ke purush aur mahila ke beech vivaah par peshkash aur charcha ke baad diya gaya tha. Jab mai itne bade vishwabhar ke dhaarmik netaaon ke dal ko sun raha tha, mainne suna ki woh ek dusre se sehmat the aur woh ek dusre ke vivaah ke pavitrata aur parivaar ke avashyakta ko, samaaj ka mul bhaag hone ke vishwaas ko, sehyog de rahe the. Maine unke sang ek shaktishaali samaanta aur ekta mehsoos kiya.

Kayi logon ne is ekta ko dekha aur varnan kiya, aur unhonne aysa kayi tarikon se kiya. Mera pasandida tha jab Iran ke ek Muslim shikshak ne do peragraf hamare khud ke parivaar ek aupchaarik ghoshna mein se dohraaya.

Bhaashan ke daoraan, maine dekha ki jab alag alag vishwaas aur jaati aur dharm ek hote hai vivaah aur parivaar par, woh maanyeta aur wafadaari aur vachanbadhta mein bhi ek hote hai jo parivaar dalon se prakritik rup se judha hai. Mere liye dekhna yogye tha ki kaise vivaah aur parivaar-kendrit praathmiktaaen kisi raajnitik, aarthik, ya dhaarmik mat bhed se mahaan tha. Jab baat pati/patni se prem aur aasha, chintaaon, aur bachchon ke sapnon ke hoti hai, hum sab ek samaan hai.

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President Henry B. Eyring speaking in a news room.

Itna shaandaar tha vishwabhar ke peshkartaaon ke saath sabhaaon mein rehna jab woh ek purush aur ek mahila ke beech vivaah ke avashyakta par ehsaas batlaa rahe the. Har ek bhaashan ke baad anye dhaarmik neta gawaahi dete the. Pradhaan Henry B. Eyring ke dwara sabha ka ek antim gawahi diya gaya tha. Usne shaktishaali gawaahi pesh ki ek vachanbadh vivaah ki sundarta par aur hamare anant parivaaron ke vaada kiye ashirvaad ke vishwaas par.

Pradhaan Eyring ki gawaahi sahi ant tha un teen khaas dinon ke sabha ka.

Ab, tum puch rahe hoge, “Agar zyaada log parivaar praathmikta aur vishwaas mein saamaanta dekhte hai, agar woh sabhi dharam aur jaati vivaah ki sahi maaine par samarth hai, aur agar woh sab maante hai ki gharon aur paarivaarik rishton ko anmol kehte hai, tab hum kaise alag hai? Ishu Maseeh ka Girjaghar Antim-dinon ke Santon ka kaise apne aap ko baaki ke duniya se alag aur vibhin kehlaaega?”

Yeh hai jawaab: jabki anokha tha dekhna aur mehsoos karna ki itna kuch saamaanye hai hamare aur baaki ke duniya ke saath parivaaron ko lekar, sirf hamare paas anant drishye hai punahsthaapit susamachaar ka.

Punahsthaapit susamachaar kya laata hai vivaah aur parivaar ke charcha mein itna bada hai aur itna upyukt ki uspar zyaada gaur nahin kiya jaa sakta hai: hum us vishay ko anant banate hai! Hum vivaah ke vachanbadhta aur pavitrata ko ek aur star tak lejaate hai kyunki hum maante hai ki parivaarein is dharti se pehle thi aur woh anantta tak kaayam rahegi.

Yeh siddhaant Ruth Gardner ke Praathmik geet “Families Can Be Together Forever” ke lekh mein itni saralta, shakti, aur sundarta se sikhlaya gaya hai. Sirf ek chan ke liye rukiye aur sochiye duniya bhar ke un Praathmik ke bachchon ke baare mein jo apne maatra bhaasha mein yeh shabd gaa rahe hai, ekdam zor zor se, ek josh ke saath jo sirf parivaar se prem se jagta hai:

Parivaarein hamesha saath reh sakte hai

Swarg ke Pita ke yojna ke zariye

Mai hamesha apne parivaar ke saath rehna chahata hoon,

Aur Prabhu ne mujhe dikhaya kaise rahun.3

Hamare punahsthaapit susamachaar ka pura gyaan parivaaron aur vivaah ke naye aur anant vachan par kendrit hai. Ishu Maseeh ke Girjaghar Antim-Dinon ke Santon ka mein, hum maransheelta se pehle ke jiwan mein vishwaas karte hai jahan hum Parmeshwar hamare Swarg ke Pita ke aatmik bachchon ki tarah the. Hum vishwaas karte hai ki hum, Unke parivaar ke sadasye the, aur hai.

Hum vishwaas karte hai ki vivaah aur parivaar sambandh kabr se aage jaate hai—ki jo vivaah sahi adhikaar ke dwara Unke mandiron mein sampann hota hai woh aane waale duniya mein bhi jaayaz rahenge. Hamare vivaah samaaroh mein “jab tak mrityu na alag karein” shabd nahin rehte aur uske bajaae kehte hai, “is samay aur saare anantta ke liye.”

Hum yeh bhi vishwaas karte hai ki mazboot paramparik parivaarein sirf ek sthir samaaj ka mulye nahin hai, ek sthir ikonomi, aur ek sthir mulye shishtta—par yeh to anantta aur Parmeshwar ke raajye aur shaasan ka bhi mul hai.

Hum vishwaas karte hai ki swarg ka sanstha aur shaasan parivaaron aur vistrit parivaaron par aadhaarit honge.

Hamare vishwaas ki vajah hai ki vivaah aur parivaarein anant hai ki hum, ek girjaghar, chahate hai ki ek nirdeshak rahein aur duniya ke sammelanon mein bhaag lein unhe mazboot karne ke liye. Aysa nahin hai ki jo bahut dhaarmik hote hai wohi saamaanye mulyon aur lambe samay ke vivaah aur mazboot parivaar rishton ko jaante hai. Bahut saare aam logon ne kaha hai ki ek vachanbadh vivaah aur paarivaarik rahan sahan sabse samajhdaar, sabse aarthik, khushaal tarika hai jeene ka.

Kisi ne bhi abhi tak isse badhiya tarika nahin batlaya jisse ubhadti peedhi ki dekhbhaal ek gharelu stithi mein ho sake jahan bachchon ke saath maata-pita ho.

Kyun vivaah aur parivaar zaroori hai—sabhi jagah? Janta matt-gananaaen dikhati hai ki vivaah ab bhi sabhi umra ke beech raasta aur aasha hai—abhi haal ke peedhi mein bhi, jahan hum itna zyaada chune huwe akelepan, niji aazaadi, aur vivaah ke bajaae saath rehna ke baare mein sunte hai. Sachchaai yeh hai ki duniya bhar mein ab bhi zyadatar log bachche paeda karna chahate hai aur mazboot parivaarein chahate hai.

Jab hum vivaah kar lete hai aur bachche ho jaate hai, sahi saamaanyeta manushye ke beech aur dikhlaai deti hai. Parivaar mein vishwaas karne waale insaan hone ke naate—chaahe jahan hum jiye ya jo bhi hamara dharam ho—hum zyadatar ek jaise sangharsh, samadhaan, aur ek jaise aashaaen, chintaaen, aur sapne dekhte hai apne bachchon ke liye.

Jaise New York Times ke lekhak David Brooks ne kaha: Log theek nahin hote agar unhe zyaada niji aazaadi milti hai apne chunaao ka cheez karne ke liye. Woh theek hote hai jab unpar zimmedaariyaan laad di jaaye niji chunaao—parivaar, Parmeshwar, naokri aur desh se badhkar.”4

Ek samasya hai yeh ki zyaada samachaar saadhan aur manoranjan jo duniya mein baanta jaata hai usmein zyaadatar logon ke chunaao nahin dikhte. Pata nahin kisliye, bahut zyaada hamara tv, filmein, sangeet, aur Intarnet mein prastut cheezein kam logon ka nazariya pesh karti hai use adhik logon ka nazariya jaisa dikhakar. Anaetikta aur mulyon ki kami, furtila maar-dhaar se lekar shaok ke liye yaon sambandh tak, aysa dikhta hai ki bahut prasiddh hai aur jo aam long hai ko mehsoos hoga ki woh purane khayalaat ke hai ya beete hue dinon ke hai. Ayse midia aur Intarnet ke raajye ki duniya mein, bahut kathin hai zimmedaar bachchon ko paalna aur vivaahon aur parivaaron ko saath rakhna.

Chaahe midia aur manoranjan dukaanein jo bhi kahe, aur kaafi log ke vivaah aur parivaar ka nazariya galat hai, to bhi adhiktar log ab bhi maante hai ki vivaah ek purush aur mahila ke hi beech hona chahiye. Woh vivaah mein imaandaari mein vishwaas karte hai, aur woh in vivaah ke vachan mein vishwaas karte hai “beemaari aur swaasth mein” aur “jab tak mrityu na alag kare.”

Hamein kabhi na kabhi apne aap ko yaad dilaana chahiye, jaise mujhe Rome mein yaad aaya, us aashcharyejanak aur sahuliyat pahunchaane waali sach ki vivaah aur parivaar ab bhi kayi logon ka abhilaasha aur aadarsh hai aur ki hum akele nahin hai in vichaaron mein. Kabhi itna mushkil nahin tha naokri, parivaaron, aur niji zarooraton ke beech santulan laane ka jitna aaj hai. Ek girja hone ke naate, hum sahayta dena chahenge un sab baaton mein jisse hum mazboot vivaah aur parivaaron ko bana aur sehyog kar sake.

Isiliye Girjaghar parivaar ko mazboot karne waale dalon aur dharmon ke beech koshish karke bhaag leta aur nirdeshan pradaan karta hai. Isiliye hum midia aur soshial midia mein batlaate hai hamare parivaar-kendrit aadarsh. Isiliye hum hamare itihaas aur vistrit parivaar ke lekh sabhi deshon ke saath baatte hai.

Hum chahate hai ki hamari aawaaz ko suni jaaye in saekdo galat kaedo ke beech jo chahate hai ki woh parivaar waale sanstha ko bhang kare jo Parmeshwar ne Khud aayojit kiya tha. Hum apni aawaaz sunaai dena chahate hai ki parivaarein kitne khush ho sakte hai. Hamein duniya bhar mein aawaaz uthaate rehna hai ki kyun vivaah aur parivaar itne avashyak hai, kyun vivaah aur parivaar maaina rakhta hai, aur kyun yeh sada zaroori rahenge.

Mere bhaaiyon aur bahanon, punahsthaapit susamachaar vivaah aur parivaar ke aas paas kendrit hai. Yahan par hum anye dharm ke logon se ek ho sakte hi, jahan hamein puri duniya se samaanta milegi aur vibhinnta dikhlaane ke mauke milenge auron ko Girjaghar tak akarshit karne ke liye unhein sikhaane aur dikhaane ke liye ki ek purush aur ek mahila ke beech vivaah ka bahut maan hai.

Aao mai samaapt karun apni gawaahi pesh karke (aur mere varsh is dharti par mujhe mauka dete hai yeh kehne ke liye) ki jitna jo budha hota hai, utna hi woh jaanta hai ki parivaar jiwan ka kendra hai aur anant khushiyaali ka chaabi hai.

Mai apne patni, aur apne bachchon, apne naati-poton aur par-naati-poton, aur sabhi chachere bhaai-bahan aur sasuraal ke log aur vistrit parivaar ko dhanyevaad deta hoon jo mere khud ke jiwan ko itna bharpur aur, haan, anant banaya hai. Is anant sachchaai ki mai apna pavitra gawaahi deta hoon Ishu Maseeh ke naam se, amen.

Vivran

  1. Pope Francis, address at Humanum: An International Interreligious Colloquium on the Complementarity of Man and Woman, Nov. 17, 2014, humanum.it/en/videos; see also zenit.org/en/articles/pope-francis-address-at-opening-of-colloquium-on-complementarity-of-man-and-woman.

  2. Pope Francis, Colloquium on the Complementarity of Man and Woman.

  3. “Families Can Be Together Forever,” Hymns, no. 300.

  4. David Brooks, “The Age of Possibility,” New York Times, Nov. 16, 2012, A35, nytimes.com/2012/11/16/opinion/brooks-the-age-of-possibility.html.