Questions and Answers
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“Questions and Answers,” Ensign, June 2003, 50–51

Questions and Answers


As a married couple with busy schedules, we want to make sure that we continue our courtship. What are some creative, less expensive ways for husbands and wives to show each other they are still in love, even after many years of marriage?


Although the nearest temple is a hundred miles from our home, we attend weekly and use the long drive together to talk. Having one-on-one time with my husband helps me when he travels for work.
Elise M. Tolman, Delta Second Ward, Delta Utah West Stake

We once raided the change drawer for all the change we could find, split it between us, and went to the mall. We decided we’d have 30 minutes to spend all our change on the other person. We both ended up with some inexpensive gifts and, much more important, a feeling of love and gratitude for each other.
Dave and Becky Oldroyd, Iowa City First Ward, Iowa City Iowa Stake

One Christmas my husband gave me a calendar with a weekly date scheduled for the entire year! Whether they were long walks or games after our children were in bed, I loved knowing that our dates were always on the calendar.
Katherine Rollins, Misawa Branch, Aomori Japan District

When my husband, Ron, and I worked opposite shifts, he would sometimes bring me lunch, and I would sometimes bring him dinner. For our anniversary, I set up a table in his parking lot with a special dinner and our best china. For about a week, he was the envy of many of his coworkers.
Patti A. Sperry, Melrose Ward, Roseburg Oregon Stake

When my wife was invited to manage the riding program at a summer camp, I made her lunch every morning and hid a love note in the bag. When she was gone overnight, she would leave me a note in the house. We are now into the third year of summer love notes.
Dan Knudson, Seneca Ward, Seneca Maryland Stake

While we were dating, my husband once performed a private clarinet concert for me. Fifteen years later he began practicing again. I will sometimes stop what I am doing and sit next to him as he plays. What a special feeling to know that David is practicing and courting me all at the same time! I always remember his first private performance. I am as much in love now as I was then.
Tina Wiley, Calgary 13th Ward, Calgary Alberta North Stake

After the birth of our first son, my husband volunteered to read to me while I fed the baby. We liked it so much that over the past 21 years we’ve read together while doing the dishes, going on road trips, and while I’m cutting his hair. Reading together has filled the years with shared insight, goals, and hours of pleasure.
Jessica McAdam, Rincon Valley Ward, Santa Rosa California Stake

My wife and I formed a baby-sitting co-op with two other couples in the ward. On three of the Fridays each month each couple takes a turn watching all the children; there are eight among the three families. This means that on two of those Fridays, my wife and I have a date just for the two of us. On the fourth Friday of the month, we may find another baby-sitter or do something as a family. The kids love it; our five-year-old describes it as the kids’ party.
Bruce L. Pickett, Sparks Eighth Ward, Sparks Nevada Stake

After hiking dates, dinner dates, and board game dates, I wanted to surprise my husband with something different. I took a bag of his favorite candies, attached a question to each one, and hid them around the house. After the kids were in bed, I sent my husband on a search. As he found each one, we talked about how each of us felt about the issue—great conversation and great fun!
Amiee House, Pullman Second Ward, Pullman Washington Stake

One evening my husband instructed me to stay upstairs while he prepared a surprise. The wait was worth it! My husband had hung a blanket over the dining room entrance. Inside, the table was set with candles, homemade placemats, and construction paper hearts. After dinner, we went to the living room—our dance floor, complete with blue Christmas lights and our favorite music. I will never forget the genuine love and creativity my husband shared with me that wonderful evening.
Tawnya Hall, Alameda Fourth Ward, Pocatello Alameda Idaho Stake

More Ideas for Staying Close

  • Record a message for your spouse on a cassette tape.

  • Do errands together.

  • Read old letters and journal entries to each other.

  • Have something your spouse made, drew, or wrote matted and framed.

  • Tape-record for your children the story of how you met.

  • Re-create your first date.

  • Leave special phone messages expressing your love.

  • Write letters to each other in a shared journal that you pass back and forth.

  • Take pictures of special events and make a scrapbook together.

  • Cook meals or simple treats together and try new recipes.

  • Go for walks together.

  • Write biographies of family members together.

  • Create a piece of art together.

  • Enjoy nature by camping or hiking together.

  • Write a list of reasons you love your spouse.

  • Do a household chore that your spouse would normally do.

  • Plant and tend a garden together.

  • Take a class together.

  • Sign up at a local theater to usher for a play, ballet, or concert.

  • Look through scrapbooks or watch home videos together.

  • Take a picnic and a game to a local park.

  • Do service projects together for your neighbors and community.

Illustrations by Andrew Knaupp