Barbara Smith:

A Call to Service, a Time to Rejoice

By JoAnn Jolley

Assistant Editor

Barbara Smith

Photography by Eldon K. Linschoten

Barbara Bradshaw Smith moves gracefully among the sisters of the Church, exchanging warm handclasps and frequent hugs with women around the world who look to her as president of the 1.5 million-member Relief Society. It is hardly surprising that women all over the Church have been drawn to her quiet dignity.

Not every woman will be able to meet Sister Smith personally. But she’d have them all over to dinner if she could.

“Barbara has a very deep empathy and concern for the women of the Church,” observes her husband with quiet pride. And Douglas H. Smith is the first to acknowledge one of the vital sources of his wife’s strength and ability: “One of our children once said that whenever you give Barbara a call to service, you should set apart the whole family, because we’re all called to that same service. We’re all part of whatever Barbara does. In one way or another the whole family—the children, the grandchildren, the neighbors, friends—the associates of all of us are mustered into the service to work with her and help her and sustain her. Because we enjoy being a part of her call as she has been a part of all of our calls. We’re a very close family.”

And that, perhaps, is the primary essence of Barbara Smith—family. Her husband, three sons, four daughters, and twenty-seven grandchildren stand at the center of a dynamic circle of affection and concern which has expanded to include women of all nationalities, ages, and persuasions. It’s a sisterhood that she believes in, works for, prays over. Sister Smith feels that Relief Society, like family, fulfills itself in “appreciating the blessings of the Lord; learning to smile; learning to take time for each other; learning to rejoice in this very brief time we have in mortality. It should be a time of service and rejoicing, and his Spirit should be in our midst. And it will be, if we let him make it so.”

These words could serve well as a synopsis of her own life. “The Lord has always blessed me,” she recalls. “I’ve not had a negative life; it’s been a good, pleasant experience. Problems have come, of course. But I have felt that the Lord has loved me through them.”

She attributes her optimism to a mother who made the best of a sometimes difficult life. “I think the most important thing was her positive attitude. She had a lot of problems, and she had very little money to do with, but she never burdened us with that concern. She just did what needed to be done; she made sure that she took care of her obligations. She learned to laugh with people, not at them. And she had a lot of faith in her children—she would tell us that we could do things, and she didn’t demean or belittle us in any way.”

Like mother, like daughter. “Mother always built up our self-esteem,” reflects daughter Catherine Faulkner. “When I was little I took piano lessons, and she would sit and practice with me. We had fun counting the time and singing together. It was her way to be encouraging by saying, ‘You did very well last time. Now let’s try it again, and see which of us can do it better.’ Her many projects were never a problem to her; in fact, she made us feel a part of those experiences.”

The Relief Society building itself has played a notable part in Sister Smith’s life. She speaks of the edifice with warmth and affection as she recalls that “I was a young mother at the time they were building it, and we were really struggling. They asked us if we would contribute $5 to it; and that seemed like such a large amount to me at that time. So I complained to my mother. I said, ‘I just can’t imagine them asking us to contribute $5 to the Relief Society building.’ And she said, ‘Oh, my dear, just give it, and don’t give it grudgingly. You will always be glad that you did.’ I want you to know that I never come into this building but I’m glad that I did. I was a hostess to take people through the building when it was brand new; so was my mother. Many of the stakes gave gifts; ours gave a little grandmother’s clock that’s just outside the board room.”

Not only is the building open to women of the Church—so is the Relief Society president. “She is a very approachable woman,” comments Sister Mayola R. Miltenberger, general secretary-treasurer of the Relief Society. “Persons who come feel warmly received.” Adds Sister Marian R. Boyer, first counselor in the Relief Society presidency, “I’ve seen her be late for important meetings because of her concern for others.” Sister Shirley W. Thomas, second counselor in the presidency, observes that “she is always gracious. People look to her for a kind of identity and strength.”

It begins at home. “She is never too busy for her family,” reflects daughter Sherilynn Alba, youngest of the seven Smith children, now married with two children of her own. “It was true when we were growing up, and it’s true now. If we need her, she’s there. I can’t imagine not having her here to get her opinion and counsel and advice.”

“She has a real gift for seeing what’s good,” says daughter Lillian Alldredge. “When I was little, she would take me with her all kinds of places, and she would talk to me so I felt needed and important.” Her loving concern extends to the grandchildren. “The other day,” says Lillian, “I asked my children (the oldest is fourteen) what they would say about Grandma Smith. They said, ‘She takes time to be with us.’”

Time, for the general Relief Society president, is at a premium. So she works hard to include family get-togethers, temple trips, birthday parties for the grandchildren, and dinner at the children’s homes. “We get involved with each other,” reflects Brother Smith. “If one has a problem, we all share the problem, if one has a success, we share the success; if one is called to service, we share the call to service insofar as it is appropriate.”

Sister Smith’s husband of almost forty years, president of Beneficial Life Insurance Company and currently serving the Church as a Regional Representative, describes their unshakable commitment to matters of supporting and sustaining—a commitment that has been nurtured through the years by mutual agreement. Both have shouldered weighty civic and Church responsibilities throughout their married lives—but neither has been without support of the other. “When I was elders quorum president,” he recalls, “we were trying to get the couples out to the temple. So we started having temple trips followed by waffle parties at the church—and Barbara usually ended up doing most of the organizing and batter-making. My counselors and I would plan one of these get-togethers, and then I’d go home and tell her. I would never have to stop and think if she would support me.

“Later, I’d get home late from a meeting or work, feeling uptight, and suggest that we go to a movie. No matter what, she’d always be willing to get ready and go with me.”

His reaction to Sister Smith’s Relief Society call, then, was an immediate vote of confidence. “President Kimball came to our home and said, ‘Barbara, I have come to call you to be the president of the Relief Society of the Church.’ And then he turned to me, and he said, ‘Douglas, would you sustain her in that call?’ At that moment I felt that the President of the Church was giving me a special call, a call to sustain my wife. And that was my call to service. I told President Kimball that Barbara had sustained me for the thirty-five years that I had been involved in Church service, and that it would be an honor for me to sustain her—which I have tried to do.”

With father as an example, the Smith children—and now their spouses and children—have rallied around the Relief Society banner and its principal bearer. Reflecting on their willingness to support her, Sister Smith talks about specifics: “They come and help in any way they can, whether it be with housework, or sharing their thoughts or experiences, or inviting us to dinner, or just trying to make things easier. They are always willing to get together whenever it’s possible; if I call them and tell them there’s something special on, they’ll put forth every effort to be there. They pray for me. They are willing to sit and listen and talk about the scriptures and give their impressions and their testimonies. They listen to some of the talks I’m going to give, and they make suggestions. All of these things are strengthening.”

The majority of women in the Church have heard or read Sister Smith’s prepared speeches and observed the friendly but businesslike demeanor with which she conducts a women’s fireside or makes a statement to the press. She is obviously a woman to be respected. But her warmth becomes tangible as she speaks from the depths of her personal conviction to a small congregation. Or when she takes your hand in hers and says, “I’m so glad to know you,” and you know she means it. At such times it is easy to love Barbara Smith—and the observation of her daughter Lillian rings true: “She taught us to leave every room or place better than we found it. And she does the same thing with people.”

Sister Smith holds deep convictions, both public and personal, with respect to the Relief Society and women generally. Following are some of her reflections on areas of interest to Latter-day Saint sisters throughout the world.

On the reorganized Relief Society stake board

We have restructured the stake board so that the counselors are responsible for program-oriented information, and the presidents are responsible for people-oriented information. It is our hope that this will make the members of Relief Society stronger than they’ve ever been before. The focus has been enlarged to give added impetus to the full breadth of Relief Society work. Members of the board are now assigned to supervise many areas that were previously handled by the president. A person on the board works directly with each of our areas of concern—activation/ missionary, curriculum/ inservice, homemaking/nursery, leadership training, music/recreation, single adult/ transition, welfare, and visiting teaching/compassionate service. Generally speaking, wards are following the same pattern; and we’re delighted about that. The more people there are involved, the greater the response.

On the potential of Relief Society

I think none of us really realize what a great organization the Relief Society is. One of the reasons it was given to us by the Lord was to help us gain the knowledge and the intelligence to act in this day. And it isn’t just the kind of knowledge that you acquire through academic learning; this is the kind of knowledge that can come to us by having the Spirit guide us. We really are only in the beginning stages. We have a good foundation, because we have had good, strong women in the past. One tremendous responsibility we have today is to gain knowledge and information, so that we will receive the blessings of heaven.

On living the principles of the gospel

I don’t know of anything I’d like more to be able to impress upon the women of the Church than the importance of learning each gospel principle and applying it to their particular situation. You know, the Lord hasn’t given us two scriptures, one for singles and one for married people; and yet, so often a single person will say, “Well, why don’t you have lessons for the singles?” and a married person will say, “Well, why don’t you have lessons that apply more to us than the others?” But it can’t be for one or the other. We all have to make the application of the principle, and we must understand the application as it applies to everyone else. The principle is universal. The sad thing is that we limit ourselves in our understanding. But instead of saying, “Why don’t you apply this principle to me?” we should say, “How can this principle apply to me?” The Lord wants us to learn how to apply his principles to everything we do.

On the consolidated program

I think most women like it very much. We’re delighted that many working women can now attend Relief Society more regularly and conveniently. I have also had a number of priesthood leaders tell me that their statistics indicate increased attendance.

We have been faced with some new challenges as a result of the consolidated schedule. Some women now serving in the Primary and the Young Women’s programs very much miss attending Relief Society, and older women living alone miss the weekday meeting. In some areas where wards and branches are small, there are very few women in Relief Society meetings because of the number of sisters needed to fill callings in the Primary and Young Women. Then too, because we have a much shorter time period for Relief Society, it is difficult for us to have the opportunity to fully enjoy in the same way that sweet relationship of sisterhood that took place before.

We believe that these challenges can be most successfully met if Relief Society presidents and their counselors will use all the resources and inspiration at their disposal to make sure that the blessings of Relief Society are extended to every sister in the ward. We have some wonderfully faithful, diligent, and creative sisters in Relief Society leadership positions, and we pray that they will actively search for ways to include every sister.

If sisters cannot attend Relief Society meetings, we might suggest taping the lessons for them, preparing home study materials, or planning occasional special workshops on leadership, mother education, family preparedness, etc. The visiting teaching program is also a very important way of reaching and involving each sister.

We believe that the monthly homemaking meetings can be a great strength to the sisterhood of the Church. It seems to me that once a month, on a Saturday, would not be too often for a woman to go and learn some of those things that are so vital to her family. I think it’s an excellent time, too, for those who are working in the Primary and the Young Women’s program to enjoy that sisterhood. We need to make the homemaking day so very important, and give the sisters so much vital information, that they simply can’t—and won’t—miss that occasion. It has to be a very productive meeting.

On community service

I think that a woman should be involved in anything she has an interest in. If she has studied and knows social work, I think she should do work in that area. I think if she has children, she should be involved in the PTA or in school board work. Every community has a long list of volunteer work that needs to be done, and I would like to see our women determine if this is the time of their life when they should be doing it. I think you should be wise in doing volunteer work; you need to determine what your home situation is, and then do what you can to reach out.

During the years I have served as the general president of the Relief Society, there have been some dramatic—and sometimes troubling—developments concerned with women’s rights, the woman’s role in the family, and her participation in society as a whole. I have learned that we Latter-day Saints can participate in our communities most effectively if we are true to our own deepest convictions. I find myself addressing concerns or issues only after I’ve asked myself two basic questions. Perhaps these will be useful to others:

1. Can I participate without replacing the counsel of the Lord through his prophet with the counsel of someone else?

2. Will the program under discussion help the individual become better able to help himself and ultimately to become independent, or will it perpetuate dependence?

On young women entering Relief Society

I want them to know what a great gift Relief Society is. I know that some of them have never had any connection with it in the past, but I hope that they will take the time to discover the great strength in older women and that they will recognize they have much to contribute to the organization. Relief Society is theirs for the rest of their lives; it is not a temporary assignment, but a lifelong organization for them, and the Lord has provided it to bless and strengthen them. They can get as much as they want from Relief Society, and there is so much that they need to give to it.

If you were to ask me what I would say to leaders about these young women, I would say be sure that you give them immediate responsibilities. Put them in positions; they need to learn—and they have much to contribute. I even see our young women being in presidencies as well as holding teaching positions and serving on committees. I see them becoming contributing members of the great sisterhood of the Church.

On Relief Society and the missionary effort

I have been told by a number of mission presidents and priesthood and Relief Society leaders that unless the Relief Society involves women as contacts or recent converts, they often lose them. But if the Relief Society gets the sisters involved, they are able to strengthen their families and receive the stability they need as they go through that period of adjustment. They are very seldom lost if they become associated with Relief Society.

On the home as a source of power

The things that take place in the home make it a source of power; it is a place where the priesthood can operate; it is where the examples of good living can take place. It’s the place where compassionate service begins, and where every principle of the gospel can be learned and lived. It helps us gain the power to grow and progress, the power to stave off evil, the power to obtain the blessings of eternity.

On evil influences in the world today

The effort to destroy the home is, I think, the greatest evil we face, whether it comes in the form of divorce, or child abuse, or immorality, or depression—it’s all there to try and destroy the home and to undermine self-esteem and self-worth. We must strengthen the home—give it power so that those things don’t happen. Broken homes destroy one of the great sources of strength for an individual—the example of a husband and wife working together in love.

On priesthood and Relief Society working together

Each needs to understand that the other has strengths, special responsibilities, and an important purpose in this divinely structured church. They must strive to bring out in each other those things that will bring about the greatest blessings for all. For example, I think that for the priesthood to succeed, the Relief Society really needs to support it; we need to pray for priesthood leaders, and we need to be there to do whatever we can to help them. I think of that, for example, in terms of compassionate service. Women have a great opportunity to be very compassionate, and they support the priesthood when they do this compassionate work. I would like to see more of that take place.

On being “our sister’s keeper”

A wonderful way to serve one another is to look for the good in each other and “cease to find fault.” If we would do that one thing—if we wouldn’t find fault with each other but would look for the good, then we would help each person to be better. Today’s society is “me” oriented and often faultfinding. I would like it to change from that; I would like us to say to one another, “You are special.”

On charity, the pure love of Christ

Charity isn’t just deeds or words; it’s also the motivation behind them. I think Christ helps us understand the significance of doing good things; and when we understand why we should look to another’s need and reach out in love to help, we then lift ourselves above the mediocre. Trying to be charitable is trying to be as the Savior is. I think charity begins to take root when every day we work to bless other people.

On her prayers for sisters of the Church

You can’t pray for sisters every single day and then not feel a great love for them. I do pray that the Lord will bless the sisters. I pray that they will be unified. I pray that they will understand that the Relief Society is there to help them and that they will avail themselves of the opportunities it affords them. Above all, I pray that they will have great love for one another.