This year in particular has been a little difficult because I had been ignoring my mental health for a while and things grew to the point where I was really feeling down on myself and I had a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of self criticism, and I realized that the degree to which it had grown was not normal, not healthy. I have always been anxious and self critical, and those feelings and negative thoughts grew to a point where I really just didn't like myself. I thought that everything I did was a mistake and I was beating myself up way too much for everything.

So I started to get therapy, which was really helpful. And I think that the biggest takeaways I had from that was that it's important to acknowledge those thoughts and feelings. If you're stuffing everything down, pretending that you don't have a problem, you can't work on those issues.

I frequently insist on carrying it alone, that I am fine, that I don't need help. But over time, carrying it alone, managing alone, it ... it just gets heavier. It’s like when you’re on a hike and you have a heavy backpack. At first you feel like you’re fine, but the longer you’re carrying it, the harder it gets, the heavier it gets, the more tired you are.

So all of these negative thoughts were my rocks in my backpack. I was basically adding in my own weight and making up my own rocks. And in ignoring them, it grew heavier.

And so that's where I ultimately ended up. I had just been pretending that my backpack wasn't that heavy,

my problems weren't that big.

Something that I learned was that you can't find relief for a problem that you're pretending you don't have.

It’s okay to have burdens.

Even though my burdens might not be as big as someone else’s,

mine still have weight, and they do need to be taken care of.

Everyone's going through different struggles, and if we are able to share them, we can help support each other and find relief through our friendships and the good people that are around us,

whether that is a friend or a family member or Christ, there are ways that we can find relief. It's a choice to share. It’s a choice to accept help—choosing to share that burden with each other and choosing to share that burden with Christ. We are partnering with Christ and helping our fellow human beings where we are a conduit through which He provides relief.

So I am really good friends with my roommate, Janelle, and so I had a very difficult conversation for me just because I had to be vulnerable. But in talking to my roommate,

I was surprised at how much relief that I felt. My circumstances didn't change. The rocks were still in my backpack, but because I had shared with my friend, it became easier to handle.

Those conversations were really hard and awkward for me, but I found that what was even harder than sharing was carrying the rocks alone.

I have found that my commitment to follow God has been very helpful for me to to find relief.

It's hard sometimes to share with friends and family the burdens that we have, but I found that it is surprisingly easy to share my burdens with God.

When I'm honest in my prayers and truly vulnerable. I feel a greater sense of peace and relief because I know He cares.

Painting this mural has been really exciting for me and really humbling for me because I have been able to interact with people in a way that I typically don't get to.

I tend to think that most people in New York don't care about religion. They don't care about spiritual matters. But I've definitely seen so many people who the mural has been resonating with them and the message of it.

They understand it and they appreciate it. It's expanded my view of other people and the fact that more people care about religion and about God than I realized.

What I really love about the message is it is relatable for anyone.

Whether people are religious or not, we all have burdens and we all need help and relief with them.

Anyone who sees the mural can appreciate it for that message alone.

I painted the mural to be the moment that weight is starting to be lifted off her shoulders. You can see it in the straps of the backpack, they are just starting to be lifted from her shoulders. And I wanted it to be that moment where relief is starting to be felt. And so she's looking up with perhaps a little bit of surprise, a little shocked because she's so tired and so used to carrying it alone, but now she’s realizing that it doesn’t have to be so heavy.

What I hope that people take from this mural is that it is okay to struggle. It is okay to have a backpack and your your burdens are not meant to be carried alone. And it's okay to share that with other people and with Christ. And you can find relief. I don’t pretend to know why sometimes we are given the rocks that we are given, but to anyone who is insisting on carrying their rocks alone, I would advise turning to God.

I understand it can be hard to turn to others. Sometimes it's just hard to share or you don't know who to share with. But the person that you can always share with is Christ.

He is the Only way that we can have everlasting relief.