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Transcript

Around that time, I was struggling a lot. I had had heart problems a little bit earlier. I'd gone to the emergency room. I had a pacemaker/defibrillator installed in my chest. I suddenly was feeling mortal again, like I was eight years old. And I was struggling a lot mentally, and that song became just--it was just such a thing of peace that came out of me when I felt so turbulent.

Great to have you here. So excited to be able to talk to you about music, inspiration, hope. And, man, a lot going on in your life right now. Bro. Yeah. It's real. It's real this weekend. Let's just dive right into it. You are a father yet again. Yep. As of Friday--Saturday at 4:00 in the morning. I think I've slept about five hours in the last three days. We'll see how this goes. How--how's mom? How's baby? They're both really good. They're good. They're both home sleeping. One of which will do that a lot and the other one of which doesn't do that a lot, but she is today. A couple kids and being a musician, making a life out of music. That is not an easy road to hoe, for sure. Definitely not, but, I mean, luckily I have tons of support. I mean, especially from my wife. She's amazing. She's all about helping me accomplish this so that, you know, she can accomplish her dreams, and my family. So we're in this together, and she's pretty amazing. You know, they can be some of the greatest motivating factors, right? You want to be able to give her everything through what you're doing and be there for her. How do you guys manage it? Lots of prayer. Lots of faith. You know, we're kind of walking in the dark. We don't--we're living in my grandparents' basement. We had put in an offer for a house and lost it, and then our landlord kicked us out of our apartment. So we were kind of like, great. We're going to have a baby, and we don't have anywhere to live. But my grandparents are amazing. They took us in. So we're--you know, we're living in a basement. We're kind of in the dark, and we keep trying to find places to live. And so a lot of faith. I mean, we know that we're going to be taken care of, just from past experiences in both of our lives. We have a lot of patience with each other. She has much more patience with me than I'm sure that I deserve, you know, as I try to make this work and I try to make the moves and play the game and do everything that it takes to make it. And she's just right there next to me. And so she's the best thing in my entire life. Let's talk about how you know that you're going to make it. You say you and your wife have both had experiences. Give me an idea of when something has come through for you that gives you faith that it's going to work out for you in the future. Even meeting her was a huge thing. I'm like, if you've seen my wife, you look at me and you're like, yeah, you got real lucky, homie.

Just the way that we met, even, was kind of just crazy, the whole bunch of different steps that led up to us meeting. I was doing musical theater up before I met her. I was all about musical theater world. And I decided, you know, I want to write music. I want to change people's lives with music. And as soon as I made that decision, it was just like I started meeting the people that I needed to meet. I started learning the things I needed to learn. I went to school at BYU for a little while, for the commercial music program. Learned so much there. Met amazing people there. And so it's just a lot of accidents, you know, as you might call them, but that I know are not accidents, that have just told me that I know that God is going to take care of my family, regardless--and one day, He may tell me, you know, music's not for you. This isn't what I need you to be doing. And I'd be like, cool. That's good. So what do you want me to do? That's kind of the way that I've kind of felt about it, and that comes from a lot of my past. Just--I've had health problems. I was born with a heart defect, and just a lot of things in my life that I know that it's like the Lord will tell me where I'm supposed to go. You know, and He's taken very good care of me, as long as I've been a good boy. Even when I'm not, I know that He's still taking care of me. So that's been it. Kind of just a lot of steps, people that I've met, opportunities that I've had. Even doing this. You know, this is such a cool opportunity for me to do. And it's just one more thing that I'm like, well, you know, if I really was terrible and I really wasn't supposed to do this, I'm sure I wouldn't get invited to things like this. Right. So that's kind of my feelings about it and my wife's as well. So when I get discouraged, she's like, remember, you're doing all these things. You've met all these people. So don't get discouraged, because I can't afford to let you get discouraged. And neither can our kids. You talk about the difference between coming from musical theater, obviously, where those are lyrics and songs that are already written for you. Yes. Now you're coming to a time where you're the musician, where you're writing the lyrics, and you're writing the songs. How is that different for you? For me, it really didn't change that much, because artists, we try to be as authentic as possible. I mean, I'm super big about just trying to be myself. Like, I'm an awkward dad, you know, but that's my art. That's who I am. But I feel like even when you are authentic as an artist, you're still playing somewhat of a character when you go on stage, especially to perform. It's just what you have to do to make it entertaining, first of all. But for me, and I think for a lot of artists who are doing that, is that their character is their real self. That's at least for me, when I go on stage and perform, I really feel like that's who I am. That's where I truly feel comfortable. That's when I feel like I'm being who I'm supposed to be. My musical theater background, I wouldn't have nearly the performance ability that I would now. I love performing live on stage. I love interacting with fans. I love doing that. And that's all things that have come from my musical theater background. Being able to put on a character--and it kind of helps with nerves too, you know what I mean? I can put that--and it was, I guess, a little weird at first, going up and being like, I don't have a script. I don't have anything to protect me. It's like, this is my songs. This is me. But if I'm able to go into that place, where it's like--you know, you just--you perform. You just go out and perform. And so, not a huge difference for me. But definitely I've been able to take a lot from the musical theater into the music world, for sure. You talked also about a heart defect or some heart things, as far as young--then you just sort of breezed right past it. Yeah, you know. My heart's dying, but it's fine. No. I was born with a heart defect called complex transposition of the great vessels. Don't quote me on that name. And that seems like something you should, like-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] Rattle off. Complex [INAUDIBLE] great vessels. Not the little--not the semi-great vessels. The great vessels. Essentially, it means that my pulmonary was in the wrong place when I was born--my pulmonary artery was in the wrong place. So I was born on a cold day in November, and they took me to the nursery. And they came to my mom and said, "We found a murmur. We're going to check it out." And then the next thing she knew, they brought me in, said, "Give him a kiss. He's getting on a helicopter, because he has to be Life Flighted to Primary Children's." And so I had a couple surgeries when I was a newborn. Then when I was three, I had an open-heart surgery to actually correct the valve problem. So I've lived with that most of my life. And then I had another replacement when I was 15, again to replace the valve, because I outgrew the first one, because I'm such a big boy. And so I had the other one replaced when I was 15, and it's just something I've lived with my whole life. So that's why, as I said before, God is definitely taking care of me. Because I've struggled a lot in my life, you know, mentally, emotionally, with dealing with this as a kid. You know what I mean? And so he's always been there to take care of me. And even just finding out that I could sing and that I enjoyed music was life changing. You know, I grew up--when I was a kid, I always wanted to play sports. I loved sports. I was a huge football fan. I played soccer for a little bit, but, you know, as I just got older and the other boys got older, they could run a lot farther than I could. I get tired super quick, and I couldn't run as fast. And it--I was--I was a very unhappy kid after that point. I just was--I was angry. I was angry all the time at my parents. I had a lot of trust issues. I went to therapy, because I was just--I was a terrible child. My poor parents. I was mean to my siblings. I mean, I really was just a piece of work. But it really was because I had a lot of built-in questions and anger and resentment and insecurities and things that, when you're eight, you know--I'm eight years old and I'm laying in bed, like, I'm going to die tonight. Those are the kind of nights that I would have. And I don't ever want to be like, "Poor me," but--because then it made it so I was so angry that I couldn't make friends. And I felt picked on, and then I felt bullied. And so then it just made it worse. But literally there was just--I was probably 10, 11. And I had done some theater stuff before. I knew that I could sort of sing, because my parents were both singers, and we're a musical family. But I remember it was around the age when I went to junior high that I really was like, no, I can like, sing. I can, like, sing. And I realized that I loved music, and it gave me a purpose. You know, I was like, I can't play sports. But it gave me something to live for and something to care about, and it gave me a purpose that I didn't feel like I had had before. And I became a completely different person. I'm still--I'm sure I was still a little demon, but you know, I was--I felt--I even remember being that age and finding out that music was a part of me and that's something that I really needed to do in this life. And I became a happier person. I remember I was just like, wow. Yeah. And I learned to play guitar. I picked up guitar when I was, like, 11. And I started playing guitar. I started singing. And like, girls started talking to me. You know, I was like, this is sweet.

Yeah, that's kind of how my--you know, so I trust God with everything, because He gave me that. He showed that to me, that, look, I didn't send you here with nothing. I didn't send you here, you know, even though you're never going to be a quarterback-- Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. We gave that all to Tom Brady. So you know, so I'm like, even though you're never going to be a quarterback, you do have something to give and something that I'm giving to you. You know, I feel like it is--every artist has a responsibility from God. I believe that 100 percent, that this is a very powerful gift that we have. And so I'm just really grateful that He picked me to have it. I want to--I want to hear it. I want to see it. OK. Would you be willing to share one? Probably not. No? Forget it. But all right. We'll see ya. OK. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. Yeah. Of course. So this song is called "One Day." I actually wrote this--it was last year I wrote it. I was on tour with JTM and Jay Warren, and we were flying from Portland to San Francisco. I think we were coming on our way. I think the tour was over. We were just hopping airports to get back home at this point. But I've always--I've always wanted to live by the ocean. My mom is from California. And so we've been to California a lot. So I--the ocean is where I will be one day. When I vision my dream life, it's--beach house. You know what I mean? That's just--I love it. It's always my place of peace. When I meditate or when I have my time to myself, I always picture the beach. I picture the ocean. And so I wrote this song that--I was flying over into San Francisco, and I was--you know, because it was such a short flight, we didn't really get super high, and I could see the coast the whole way down. And I was just like, man, one day I'm going to live by the ocean. And I was like, that's a song. So I grab my napkin, and I'm, like, humming to myself. The guy next to me is like, this dude's crazy. I'm like, shut up. It's a good song. Be quiet. So anyway, I wrote that. I started writing it, and then Cayson Renshaw was a good friend of mine, and he helped me kind of finish it, wrap it up. And it turned into this. [MUSIC - NATHAN WAITE, "ONE DAY"]

(SINGING) One day, I'll live by the ocean. Just pack up the suitcase and leave. Because the waves on this shoreline are calling me home like, this is where you're meant to be. One day, I'll live by the ocean. I'll never need anything more than the sky up above and the water below, and just smile as I walk through the door. But all you tell me, it all sounds crazy. But sometimes crazy is all that we need.

So hold my hand, and I will take you there. One day we'll live by the sea.

One day we'll live by the ocean. We'll spend every day in the sun. Watching our kids play forever and always. You're teaching us all about love. One day we'll live by the ocean and somehow get lost in the sunset. Till the moon and the stars, they start guiding us home, and they'll watch over us as we rest. But all you tell me, it all sounds crazy. But sometimes crazy is all that we need.

So hold my hand and I will take you there. One day we'll live by the sea. [VOCALIZING]

I'll take you there. Oh, I'll take you there.

I'll take you there. Ooh, I'll take you there.

One day, we'll live by the ocean, in a home by the sea, where the going is easy.

Oh, believe me. One day, we'll live by the sea.

You and me. All right. Listen, I'll go to the ocean with you. I have to ask you, as you were singing that, your eyes so tightly closed. Are you envisioning yourself there in the ocean? Oh, yeah. 100. Me, my wife, my kids. It was definitely--you know, what started as "I'm going to live by the ocean one day" quickly turned into--because around that time, I was struggling a lot. I had had heart problems a little bit earlier. I'd gone to the emergency room. I had a pacemaker/defibrillator installed in my chest. I suddenly was feeling mortal again, like I was eight years old. And I was struggling a lot mentally, and that song became just--it was just such a thing of peace that came out of me when I felt so turbulent inside. It's very special. It's now kind of become my two-year-old's lullaby. He loves it, which is great. I mean, it's really special to kind of our family in general. I mean, it's doing well publicly, you know. It's doing great on Spotify and everything. But really it's a special song for the three--now four of us. So I'm definitely envisioning whoever, you know, me and my kids, however many that may be. No more than four.

But us at the beach, and really even just in a place of peace. And that's what I hoped it would be for other people, is that, you know, regardless of where your place of peace is, I just hope that one day you can find that. And that's where that is for me. My family on the beach is perfect. I like this story, too, where so many artists will talk that they're writing from the heart, where your literal heart has had to go through so many different surgeries, operations, changes. I'm sure that you've seen that within the music from where you started from, being able to let go of that angry 8-year-old and then re-letting that go as the 12-year-old and now into adulthood. When people listen to your music, what do you hope they get from it?

I don't think I would ever presume to tell them what I think they should get out of it. I just hope they get something out of it. I have--my vision of success as an artist--I've talked to other artists about this, that we all have this picture in our head that's like, I've made it. You know what I mean? And for me, mine is standing on a stage with thousands of people, singing a song together that I wrote and having a changing experience. The video I always watch--I don't know if you've seen that video. It kind of circulated on social media. It was couple of years ago. There was a kid, I think who had autism, that was at a Coldplay concert with his dad, and he was singing "Fix You," and he was just bawling. And I just bawl, and I'm like, that's it. That's--that's it. It still changed me. It's something I'll never forget. You know what I mean? And so I just hope that that's what I can create. I write music so that one day I can perform it live. That's--I write music so that I can create an experience in a live setting. So individually what they get, you know, that's up to them and God. But I just hope they walk away with something. Nate, let's talk about the musicians that inspired you. Big or small, who are they? So first, I would say the person who--well, a person who-- I mean, I'm right here. Let's get past me and go to musicians. Definitely you. OK. Thank you. So number one. Number two would be my uncle. My uncle Dan, who's my mom's little brother. He was the first person that I ever--I mean, he was a rock star to me. You know, when I was a kid, he was just--he was in a band. They opened for Kansas. They had a lot of success. Super fun. I still love their music to this day. And then their success just disappeared like dust in the wind. Exactly. Perfect. Good dad joke. Thank you. Bravo. Bravo. Yeah, he was my first--yeah, kind of my first person that I really looked up to as a musician. And he was so close to home, and it was like he'd play the guitar with me and indulge me and jam when I could play one note and stuff. And so he was my first--my guitar playing--I play electric guitar a lot. It started as very inspired by any of the classic rock guitar players. I was big into Slash, Jimmy Page. I then moved in to Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan, some of the other blues stuff. And then John Mayer, I would say, is probably one of the biggest influencers for just the whole songwriting, guitar-playing thing. What about it? What about John Mayer? John Mayer is a killer songwriter and very good guitar player. And that's--for me, his guitar playing is, to me, probably the best of our generation. It's so good. Every time I watch him play guitar, I'm like, yeah, that's--yeah. That's it. You should be translated by the guitar gods this minute. But yeah, John Mayer is a big one. James Arthur. I love James Arthur's music. I've recently--so I produce. I'm also a producer. I've been producing a lot for Jay Warren. And so I've been really big into R&B and soul. I'm a huge fan of PJ Morton and JP Cooper and a lot--and really big into the neo-soul and the R&B right now as a producer. But that's also kind of now influenced my songwriting. A couple of songs I have in the works are a little more soul, you know. A little more upbeat. Not so--you know, not so strummy. You talk a lot about inspirations. We've talked about it. You know, your uncle. We talked about bigger-named inspirations as well. Have you had anyone that's come to you and said, "Man, Nate, you have inspired me. You have helped me along my journey." Only about their hair. Somebody told me, they're like, "I modeled my hair after yours." I'm like, well, it doesn't get much better than that. You know, I play music, and they're like, no, no. No, no, no. I don't--I don't care what you do. I just saw your picture on Instagram. No, I mean--I'm going to feel terrible if I can't remember and somebody has. I know that I've had people message me. Like, I had--one of the coolest things that I had, a girl from France who messaged me on Facebook. And obviously I don't know this person. But she messaged me and just said, "Your song 'One Day'"--it was right when the quarantine--you know, everybody in the whole world was quarantined. She's like, you know, "I live in France, and we're quarantined, and your song has kind of helped me escape. So I really appreciate that." I'm not--you know, if they've never approached me, that's OK, if it did inspire them in ways. I've had friends say, you know, "I really am inspired by your songwriting and stuff," which is awesome. I mean, I'm all about that. If we can take a chance to get emotional a little bit, I guarantee you that your kid that says "Dad, sing me--sing me a lullaby" at two years old, you know that he's just looking at Dad like "Dad is my Superman." Then I put him on time-out for smacking me in the face, and then he changes his mind quickly. Yeah, I do hope that. I hope that I can inspire my kids to do whatever they feel like. And that's my big thing. Because I came to that place: I didn't feel like I could do what I wanted to. And then I found this thing. And you know, I've had people tell me, "You know, you shouldn't do this." And I've had people tell me, "Yeah, you should definitely do this." And I've had to go through both. And so I do hope that through my success and through what I can accomplish with music, that my kids then can see we can do whatever we want. We can do--we can do anything in this life, because, really, we can. I mean, the only thing stopping this--my wife says this to me all the time. She's like, "Babe, the only thing that is going to stop you is you." Because she's like, "I have 100 percent confidence in what you can do." And so if that relationship that we have together, as I'm doing this, can rub off on our kids, that would--I mean, pack them off. They're good. Can we get you to play another one? Of course. Yeah. So this song--sorry, I'll get closer to the microphone. So this song is called "Alone."

It was a song that--so my wife--I'm telling you, my wife is my--she's my-- Hold on to her. Yeah. No joke. She said, "I want you to write a song in a day." She's like--and I was like, "Are you going to give me a topic?" And she said, "Yeah, I want you to write about mental health." And that's what she told me. And so I, in a day, wrote this song called "Alone." And at that time, when she did that, I was struggling a lot still with depression and my own insecurities. I had just auditioned for The Voice, which was the season that just ended, just this last one. I had auditioned for The Voice. I got really far. I got right before the TV--the blinds--got cut. And I was feeling super, you know, just like really bad on myself. You know, I was just feeling like I couldn't--I really, for that time, I was like, I can't sing. Like, I can't sing. And it was--because I understand those shows. It's just a big puzzle piece. They've just got to make a show, you know. If that would have just been the case--but I really felt like I genuinely did a bad job. So I came home. I was just a wreck. And it's still something--I'm kind of still climbing out. I still now get a little more nervous than I used to, performing, because it was just like--so I was struggling a lot with that, with my own demons, as you will, inside of me. So for this song, I was kind of writing it from the perspective of her--of how much she's helped me through this. And she was--I mean, we had just had our first baby a little bit before that. And he was born at 28 weeks, and that was a whole crazy thing. And so she was dealing with her own stuff--her own postpartum anxieties and things like that. And she still was able to reach out and try and help me, keep pushing me to do this. And so I wrote this song called "Alone" about how nobody should--nobody should have to cry alone. I'm going to speak the lyrics, because I kind of mumble when I sing. So just so everybody understands what the lyrics are. So they're "I will stay with you until the rain stops pouring. I will be there just to help you through the storm. 'Cause no matter what you tell me, I'll be there in the morning. I'm not trying to say you're not strong, but no one should have to cry alone." These are the lyrics. [MUSIC - NATHAN WAITE, "ALONE"] (SINGING) The sun is up, and the sky is blue, and the whole wide world is a perfect kind of way. I want to go out and enjoy it with you, but I know it's hard to go outside today.

I know you feel tossed by the waves in your head. And the fear and all the doubt are making you feel small. But no matter how rough or how crazy it gets, I promise you I'll be there through it all.

I will stay with you until the rain stops pouring.

I will be there just to help you through the storm.

Cause no matter what you tell me, I will be there in the morning. I'm not trying to make you feel like you're not strong, but no one should have to cry alone.

Oh, believe me, I will never run away from you. You can give me all your bad days, baby, if you want to. And if sometimes the sun feels just a little far away, oh, I promise to bring some light to you. I will stay with you until the rain stops pouring. I will be there just to help you through the storm.

Cause no matter what you tell me, I will be there in the morning. I'm not trying to make you feel like you're not strong. It's just no one should have to cry alone. Whenever you want me, whenever you need me, whenever you can't sleep, I'll be there. Whenever you want me, whenever you need me, whenever you can't sleep, I'll be there, cause you are worth it.

You are worth it.

(SPEAKING) Can we try something? You want to sing something with me? Sure.

And then I want everybody who's listening to sing too. So in your car or at home, I want you to sing this part with me: And whether or not you're talking to yourself or somebody else, I think this is important for everybody to understand.

(SINGING) You are worth it. You are worth it. You are worth it. (SPEAKING) That's good. (SINGING) You are worth it. You are worth it. You are worth it. (SPEAKING) One more time. (SINGING) You are worth it. You are worth it. You are worth it. You are worth it. You are, oh, you are, you are worth it. Oh, you are worth it. You are worth it to me.

So I'll stay with you until the rain stops pouring.

I will be there just to help you through the storm.

Because no no matter what you tell me, I will still be there in the morning. I'm not trying to make you feel like you're not strong.

It's just no one should have to cry alone.

No one should have to cry alone.

Great job. You're pretty awesome. Thank you. A discussion about--about mental illness is something that 20 years ago I don't think we would have seen. Yeah. Not even nearly as much 10 years ago. Now, as we realize it affects a lot more people than probably we ever really know, because so many people suffer alone. As you've seen that, to those that are maybe hanging on, white-knuckled, trying to make their way through it, what would you say to those folks? Keep hanging on. You know, and I think this song applies, too, to--I mean, there's a lot of groups, especially today, that are struggling. They feel like they're in the dark. Those struggling with mental illness, those in the LGBTQ community, in the black community, especially right now. There's a lot of things that are very relevant to, I think, this idea that we shouldn't ever allow anybody to suffer alone, especially as God-fearing people. At least that's the way I feel about it. I think for those people, for one, reach out. I mean, that's--having my wife--I mean, I feel like a broken record at this point. My wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife. It's huge for me. And having somebody like her that is so willing to jump in the dark with me and reach in the dark for me is huge. And so I think reaching out to people is the biggest thing, because there's been other people that have helped me with things that I've struggled with. Of course, my parents as I've struggled with things when I was a kid, and then when I got married, they're like, "Yeah, he's your problem now." Here, take that. Yeah. I think for those people, I'd just say, just hang on, and remember that--my wife and I are actually releasing a song soon, and we have a lyric in there. It's a love song--more of a love song, but there is a line in there that says "It's hard to see beyond forever, but life's got a way of getting better." And I think that's--that I would--what I would say to people is that it will get better eventually. You know, in the moment it does, it seems terrible. And I've been in those places where it's just like, I'm online looking up computer programming schools. I'm like, I can't do music anymore. I just can't do this. I can't. And my wife's like, "Close the computer and go back in your studio and finish the song." So just keep going, and keep doing what you're doing, and know that I, as an individual, support you, whoever is out there needing it--you know, my friends in the LGBTQ community, my black friends, my friends struggling with mental illness. I want to be a person who they can reach out to.

Want to do a fun song? Yeah. I'll join you in something. I don't--it's gotta be something I know if I'm going to join you. [INAUDIBLE] make one up [INAUDIBLE].. Make a song up [INAUDIBLE]? I'll make a song up with you. What do you want to sing? All right. So I'll play--I'll play chords, and then you come up with the main melody, and I'll do stuff [INAUDIBLE].. Oh, my gosh. OK. [MUSIC]

(SINGING) Sitting here with my friend, Nate. Mm. Love him. He is so great. He wasn't very late. That's why I love Nate. Sitting here with you, my friend, is the best thing that I've ever done. Now that this podcast is over, maybe we should go and try to have some fun. (SPEAKING) Not that it wasn't fun.

“Alone” and “One Day,” Sung By Nathan Waite

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Musician and songwriter Nathan Waite talks about the heart defect he was born with and how his faith and patience has helped him know things will work out. People leave his concerts feeling uplifted.
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