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Returning Early from a Mission

Teenagers are sitting on a wall facing the ocean. Their backs are to the camera and they are their arms over one each others shoulders.

Teenagers arm in arm

His Grace

Jake was eagerly planning to serve as a full-time missionary in South Carolina for two years, but things don’t always go according to plan.

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<![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[326.]]> <![CDATA[300 and how many?]]> <![CDATA[All right.]]> <![CDATA[Jay, he's dragging it.]]> <![CDATA[OK.]]> <![CDATA["Dear Elder Green, you are hereby]]> <![CDATA[called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus]]> <![CDATA[Christ of Latter-day Saints.]]> <![CDATA[You are assigned to labor in the South Carolina Columbia]]> <![CDATA[Mission."]]> <![CDATA[Oh, great.]]> <![CDATA[There was never any question as to "Is this going to happen?"]]> <![CDATA[It's "What is it going to be like?"]]> <![CDATA[The location sounded great.]]> <![CDATA[The type of people sounded great.]]> <![CDATA[As a youth, that's all I'd looked forward to, is,]]> <![CDATA["Hey, I want to have those experiences, too.]]> <![CDATA[I'm looking forward to that so much.]]> <![CDATA[It's going to be the greatest experience of my life."]]> <![CDATA[And so I prepared and got ready, got all my stuff,]]> <![CDATA[gave everybody hugs, and then off we went.]]> <![CDATA[The first day was kind of a blur.]]> <![CDATA[And I think it is for most people.]]> <![CDATA[It started to hit me a little bit that night.]]> <![CDATA[It was the first night, and I think reality just]]> <![CDATA[started to hit with everybody: "Oh, wow, my family is gone."]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[As I was sitting in one of my classes,]]> <![CDATA[I just started to have overwhelming feelings]]> <![CDATA[of darkness and depression--just feeling extremely overwhelmed.]]> <![CDATA[And I started to doubt everything about myself,]]> <![CDATA[about my testimony, about God's love for me.]]> <![CDATA[I thought, "OK, what's happening to me?"]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[Eventually, after going through this same kind of cycle so many]]> <![CDATA[times, I finally said it--"OK, enough's enough.]]> <![CDATA[I can't do this anymore."]]> <![CDATA[And so I called up my parents and just]]> <![CDATA[said, "Hey, come get me."]]> <![CDATA[And it was probably the hardest phone call that I've ever made.]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[I ended up coming home on my little brother's 12th birthday.]]> <![CDATA[And I had to walk through that door]]> <![CDATA[and see him with friends over on his birthday,]]> <![CDATA[and him looking up to me with that look]]> <![CDATA[of confusion and concern, wondering what happened.]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[And that was hard.]]> <![CDATA[That was very hard--feeling like I'd let him down when he needed]]> <![CDATA[somebody to look up to.]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[But from my standpoint, I felt like, "OK, this can't be right.]]> <![CDATA[I feel like I'm going against God's will for me.]]> <![CDATA[And so I must be betraying Him."]]> <![CDATA[I couldn't even count the number of times]]> <![CDATA[that I asked myself, "Did I make the right decision?]]> <![CDATA[Could I have stayed out?]]> <![CDATA[What could I have done to prevent this from happening?]]> <![CDATA[And what could I have done to make sure]]> <![CDATA[that I did serve that full-time two-year mission?"]]> <![CDATA[And I've come to realize since then that God does not ask]]> <![CDATA[us those kinds of questions.]]> <![CDATA[What God asks us is, "How are you]]> <![CDATA[going to get up and move on?]]> <![CDATA[How are you going to become a better person?]]> <![CDATA[And are you willing to let me in to help you]]> <![CDATA[through this process?]]> <![CDATA[And are you willing to let our Savior]]> <![CDATA[in to help you through this process?"]]> <![CDATA[And if we can just answer yes to that question--"Yes,]]> <![CDATA[I'll let You in, yes, I'll let my Savior in"--we can be lifted]]> <![CDATA[to such unimaginable heights.]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[I've had the opportunity to go through and be married]]> <![CDATA[and sealed in the temple and have]]> <![CDATA[two great, wonderful blessings of children in my life.]]> <![CDATA[And those things, to me, are eternal.]]> <![CDATA[And those things, to me, will be with me forever.]]> <![CDATA[]]> <![CDATA[And for that reason, I won't let this experience]]> <![CDATA[of being unable to have that two-year full-time service]]> <![CDATA[weigh me down.]]> <![CDATA[And I won't allow it to hold me back]]> <![CDATA[from what I know I can accomplish with the Lord's]]> <![CDATA[help in my life.]]> <![CDATA[And for that, I'm just eternally grateful.]]> <![CDATA[]]>

Returning Early from a Mission

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