In 1994 I was introduced to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Albania. I made friends with the local missionaries and Church members, and five years later I chose to be baptized with my parents and two sisters. Then I served a full-time mission in San Francisco, California, USA. When I arrived back home, I met a wonderful young woman and had the opportunity to baptize her and be sealed to her in the Frankfurt Germany Temple. At that time, we were the first Albanian couple to be sealed in the temple! Not long after my daughter, Abigeil, was born, though, I started smoking. I felt ashamed and was afraid that people at church would judge me. Attending church was no longer a priority for me, but I never lost my testimony of the gospel or the Book of Mormon, regardless of the decisions I was making. Every Sunday Abigeil would attend church with my parents. She and my son, Nataniel, were raised with prayer and the scriptures. Right before she turned eight years old, she asked me to be the one to baptize her. My heart ached. I felt like I had failed as her father and as a priesthood holder. And I felt like I had failed my Heavenly Father. I gently explained to Abigeil that I supported her decision to be baptized but that I would not be able to perform her baptism. Instead, I suggested that her grandfather baptize her. She firmly responded, “Prepare yourself so when Nataniel turns eight, you will be ready to baptize him.” Those words struck me deeply and echoed in my mind for hours. I could barely sleep that night as I remembered the words of my mission president: “The Holy Ghost speaks to you either as a small and gentle voice or as a brick to the head.” My daughter’s words were a brick to my head. That night I knelt down for the first time in many years, and after a long talk with Heavenly Father, I knew what I had to do. The next morning I threw away my cigarettes and asked to meet with my bishop to get help turning my life around. I avoided places where other people smoked and prayed every day for strength. God healed me. As I started my journey back to church, I learned everything I could about the gospel, my Heavenly Father, and my Savior. I studied the scriptures and listened to the General Authorities, and my testimony grew stronger. My path became clearer as I renewed and kept my covenants. A few weeks after returning to church, I learned about PathwayConnect, a higher-education program offered through BYU-Pathway Worldwide. It was an opportunity to study life skills, finances, and English, and I could still participate even though I had struggled with the Word of Wisdom. It was a huge blessing to be around people who love the gospel and could support me on my journey. I will be eternally grateful that God spoke to me through my eight-year-old daughter. Even though I had forgotten Him, He had never forgotten me. Since that night with my daughter, my family has never missed church. We attend the temple regularly and try to serve as often as we can. We study the scriptures as a family and individually. Every day we try to be more like Jesus Christ so we can have His Spirit with us. And on January 11, 2020, I was able to fulfill my daughter’s request, and I baptized Nataniel. Through these struggles I have come to realize three important things in my life: 1. We are all children of God. 2. He knows all—what has been, what is, and what will be. 3. He wants the best for us. I know that if I live the gospel, keep my covenants, and study the scriptures, everything else will be sorted out. I love the gospel because it gives all of us the opportunity to lift ourselves higher and higher each day. To all those who are struggling, don’t worry. Be strong and patient, because things will work out. God has not forgotten you. He made it possible for me to return to Him, and I know that He will help you too. |