Mormon Channel Blog

    How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    June 24, 2015

    There are billions of people in this world you can compare yourself to. Once you start, you might find it difficult to stop. We have all done it—wishing we were more like her or considering how glad we are not to be like him. Even as we do it, we know we are not thinking or acting like Jesus Christ would.

    It is possible to righteously admire someone, and that is healthy because it motivates us to improve ourselves. However, being jealous of someone’s strengths, ashamed of your own weaknesses, or envying a “perfect life” you think someone has is a purely negative activity. Unhealthy comparisons lead to depression, lack of self-confidence and self-worth, ungratefulness, relishing in the trials of others, resenting yourself and others, wasted time and effort, destroying any motivation to achieve personal goals, and spiritual digression.

    If comparing yourself to others has become a daily habit for you, it is time to stop, and we have some tips for doing just that.

    Pray for the Lord’s guidance.

    The Lord will never leave us alone. He has given us the gift of prayer to communicate with Him daily—even hourly. If you are struggling to overcome comparing yourself to others, humbly pray to the Lord for His guidance and then do your part by watching for the answer. This gospel is about transformation, and we can become the best versions of ourselves if we communicate with Him through prayer.

    Do not worry what you believe people think of you.

    Too often we worry about what others think of us. We let the views of our family, friends, neighbors and society determine how we feel about ourselves. Heavenly Father’s opinion matters most because He sees you with clarity. You are a son or daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. You are special and glorious in His eyes, and that is how you should determine your own self-worth.

    Keep a “gratitude journal.”

    Keeping a journal of the things you are grateful for will help you focus on the blessings you have been given. There are too many to count. Take a few minutes each day to write down the gifts, talents, and opportunities you have. Consider what you could do to make someone else feel grateful the next day. Go back and refer to that journal when you need a pick-me-up during a hard time.

    Limit your time on social media.

    While social media can be used for good, it can also be harmful to those who use it to compare their lives to those of their online friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. Remember that there are more lies on social media than there are truths. Stop yourself from getting caught up in worries that your looks, life, or accomplishments do not measure up to those you see on social media by limiting your daily exposure to it. Turn your focus from the online world to the real world.

    Do not expect to be perfect.

    We know that no one is perfect, yet we allow ourselves to believe that certain people just might be. They are not. Everyone has weaknesses and struggles; whether they keep them private or not is up to them. They should not expect to be perfect, and neither should you. The scriptures teach, “It is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength” (Mosiah 4:27). All you can and should do is strive to be the best possible version of yourself.

    It is human nature to feel inadequate at times, but do not let that become your constant mentality. Accept the challenge of being a true disciple of Jesus Christ and move from competitiveness to cooperation, from love of self to love of others, from comparison to connection.