Tanya Pereira and her family are the subjects of our latestHappy Familiesepisode. While it may seem like they have everything figured out, Tanya chatted with us to explain why that is not quite true and how they find happiness and success anyway.
What does your family do to stay close, even at busy times? Share your ideas and experiences in the comments.
Many of our viewers will wonder, “What is the true source of this family’s happiness? How can my family be like theirs?” What would you say to them?
I hope we don’t come across as a perfect family or like we are happy all the time. On the contrary, we have our struggles and have shared many disappointments, just like everyone else. I grew up in a dysfunctional home with alcoholism and witnessed a lot of abuse. The lessons we have learned through being laid off, not having success in a prior business, having an illness, losing a championship game, struggling through piano lessons, bullying, and many other heartbreaks have all helped us become stronger and value what is most important; that is, spending quality time with each other.
I like this quote I once read: “Givers gain.” The more we give and help others, the more we are helped. Volunteering and giving back has helped me get through some difficult times in my life and for this I am truly grateful.
How do you create time for each other even when everyone is busy?
We make it a point to include everyone when any of us does things that are ordinarily done individually. Neville takes Nicholas and Kayla to his design projects so that they can measure and photograph for him while he meets with the clients and takes notes. This has introduced them to his trade and hopefully may inspire them in their careers someday. I also get to take Kayla with me to seminars.
This way, they learn skills, sometimes earn some money, and spend time with Mom and Dad. We always support each other at performances and practices because Dad coaches and will help being a team parent every now and then.
It is important to savor the ever-shrinking time and conversations with our children, even outside the home. It allows them to feel comfortable talking with us, especially because their friends are used to seeing us around.
What inspires you to work every day for a successful marriage and family?
I have always thought that our Heavenly Father has blessed Neville and I with three children [the eldest of whom is away from home serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints] and it is our responsibility to take care of them. Neville and I do our best to guide them and encourage them to always help people along the way as much as possible. I don’t believe I’m in a perfect marriage, but I am very lucky to have a spouse who is loving and kind and who is a devoted father to our children. He always encourages me to learn as much as I can and I’m truly grateful that he does.