Mormon Channel Blog

    8 Tips for Successful Dating Relationships

    October 29, 2018

    There are numerous talks on dating—partly because dating is important to not only the Latter-Day Saint culture but also the entire world. Successful dating relationships lead to successful marriages and families, something the world needs in order to thrive.

    The following are eight tips for successful dating relationships.

    Tip 1: “When you date, learn everything you can about each other.” —Elder Robert D. Hales

    It’s important to have fun while dating, but talking and learning about each other is even more important. In an October 2015 general conference talk, Elder Hales encouraged couples to get to know each other’s families, talk about their goals, and discuss their feelings about spiritual matters, such as the commandments, the temple, and the Savior. Consider dates where you can both have fun and talk to each other.

    Tip 2: “If we would know true love and understanding one for another, we must realize that communication is more than a sharing of words.” —Elder Marvin J. Ashton

    Elder Ashton nailed it on the head when he went on in his talk to say that communication is about sharing your emotions, feelings, and concerns. To truly love and understand someone, and to be loved and understood in return, each person has to completely give of himself or herself in terms of thoughts, emotions, and worries.

    Tip 3: “Don’t text her! Use your own voice to introduce yourself to the righteous daughters of God who are all around you.” —President M. Russell Ballard

    President Ballard is telling men to ask women out in person, but his advice goes both ways. We all text, but there’s a time and place for texting. Asking someone out or first getting to know them isn’t one of them. Don’t be afraid to go up to someone from school or church, talk to them, and ask them on a date.

    Tip 4: “Be friends first and sweethearts later, not the other way around.” —Elder Bruce C. Hafen

    When Elder Hafen was president of BYU–Idaho (then Ricks College), he spoke at a BYU devotional about the gospel and romantic love. The foundation of every strong dating and marriage relationship is friendship, so become friends first. Otherwise, you may find that you can’t be good friends.

    Tip 5: “Where trust is, love can flourish.” —Barbara B. Smith

    Sister Smith made a deep statement when she said trust is the basis on which more can be built. Love is partly built on trust. You’ll only naturally love someone if you totally trust them. Build trust together and watch your love grow.

    Tip 6: “Look to the Lord and not to the world for your ideas and ideals about men and women.” —Sheri L. Dew

    Sister Dew shared this counsel in a 2001 general conference talk. And it’s a great reminder to those dating today, when the world’s views of important characteristics are quite different from the Lord’s. A pretty face, popularity, and wealth aren’t what matter; charity, integrity, and righteousness matter.

    Tip 7: “Courtship requires effort and creativity.” —John D. Claybaugh

    Successful dating relationships don’t just happen. Healthy courtship necessitates effort and creativity from both people involved. It takes effort to find time to be together, to talk, and to work through problems. You can be creative by coming up with a list of fun, original date ideas.

    Tip 8: “The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others—not the other way around!” —Elder Neal A. Maxwell

    Elder Maxwell said this 35 years ago, but it still rings true today. If you’re always looking for and pointing out imperfections in others, you’ll never be happy or find someone you think is good enough. No one is perfect—including yourself—so don’t expect the person you’re dating to not have faults.

    Read these talks on dating to learn how you can develop a strong relationship that leads to an even stronger marriage.

    What have you found that leads to successful dating relationships?