A Self-Reliance Course Helped Me Improve My Life after My Divorce

As a recently divorced young adult, I dreaded returning to the singles ward.

And when I finally made the terrifying leap and began attending, I didn’t want anyone to know about my divorce because I was afraid of being judged.

Soon I learned about the self-reliance classes offered in my stake, and because of my recent life changes, I decided that taking the personal finances class might help me make wise financial decisions. Even though I felt nervous and awkward walking into the first orientation meeting by myself, I soon found myself in a group of other young adults who were also interested in becoming more financially responsible.

We met as a group each week, discussing the lesson topics and reporting on our course assignments, and also sharing our testimonies and personal experiences. I felt a surprising connection to that small group—even though I still felt like an invisible barrier was separating me from everyone because of my different life experiences.

Eventually, I felt very comfortable with my group members—we had all become good friends. And one day after class, I felt safe enough to tell them about my divorce, which at the time was something I rarely divulged to others.

Instead of responding with the judgment and rejection I feared, my group members showed compassion. They continued to support and encourage me throughout the remainder of the class—and some even after the course ended. They truly helped to “comfort [one who stood] in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9; see also verse 8). Because of how close we had become, I knew that if one of us were in need, even several years later, he or she could reach out, and we would each be ready to share the same Christlike love that I felt during our time together.

Ultimately, the principles taught in the personal finances course helped me get on the path to financial success and responsibility (I was even able to save up enough to purchase my first car recently!), and I learned so much about how to navigate my new circumstances.

I was also surprised by how the Church’s self-reliance courses bless us beyond teaching practical skills. They allow us to make connections and learn together, and, because they are inspired by Jesus Christ, they can deepen our faith in Him.

Through the self-reliance course, I learned to recognize and acknowledge the influence of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my life, deepening my relationship with and reliance on Them. I felt more joy and peace enter my life as I participated in the course, knowing I was using my agency to better my life and “do many things of [my] own free will” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27). And the social bonds I developed in that group led to additional social invitations, fun experiences, and an expanded circle of friends.

I’ll always be grateful for Heavenly Father, who knows each of us and our individual circumstances. He wants us to find success in both spiritual and temporal things and to deepen our connections and unity with others, and the inspired self-reliance courses allow us to do just that. As Sister Julie B. Beck, former Relief Society General President, said, “The work of salvation … includes improving our temporal and spiritual self-reliance.”¹ We only need to accept His invitation to improve and the opportunities to do so when they arise.

Note

1. Julie B. Beck, “Why We Are Organized into Quorums and Relief Societies” (Brigham Young University devotional, Jan. 17, 2012), 4, speeches.byu.edu.